Vicky Advani

Husband catches his wife boyfriend in bedroom that too naked…..still man walks out easily after a good story telling session with the husband ….check out the video to know the story he created …its truely too good

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’   I said, ‘an inch of dust!!’
And then the fight started…

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’ I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started…

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station
And then the fight started…

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’
And then the fight started…

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”" Nah, she can order for herself.”
And then the fight started…

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A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.  She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.’ *The husband replies, ‘your eyesight’s damn near perfect*.’
 And then the fight started…..

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of
cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
 And then the fight started….

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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
And then the fight started…..

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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.  Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.  The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man ‘Holy crap. That must be my husband!’ So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and   to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, ‘I AM your husband!’ The woman yelled back, ‘Yeah, then why were you running?’
And then the fight started…..

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 I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”  It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.  So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”
 And that’s when the fight started….

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My wife and I are watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”"No,” she answered. then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.” So I said, “*Then I’d like to phone a friend.”                             *
 And that’s when the fight started….

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that   his employer was going through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go.
 
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find another job..
 
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.
 
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million.
 
She explained that she had ‘charged’ him for sex, and these were the results of her savings and investments.

The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, ‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have had sex only with you.’

That’s when she shot him.
 
You know, some men just don’t know when to keep their mouths shut….!!!

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.

Unknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet.

The boy now has company.
Boy: Dark in here..
Man: Yes it is.
Boy: I have a baseball.
Man: That’s nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No, thanks.
Boy: My dad’s outside.
Man: OK, how much?
Boy: $250.
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yes, it is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
Man: How much?
Boy: $750.
Man: Fine.

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go
outside and toss the baseball.”  The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?” The son says, “$1,000.” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”  the priest says, “Don’t start that shit again.”

Happy and excited she was counting down the days to her birthday.  

And finally she got the most thoughtful and beautiful present her husband could ever give…

 Apparently, he is deceased now…

check out the below gift

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Words

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Creation

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time, ” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Who does what?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.” Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.” Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says………. “HEBREWS”

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

A man feared that his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her; he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself,

“I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife   and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again he gets no response so,

He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her.  ”Honey, what’s for dinner?”

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“James, for the FIFTH time I’ve said,”CHICKEN! ”

Moral of the story: The problem may not be with the other one as we always think,
could be very much within us………..